When to RUN

  • If your pastor thinks the Olivet Discourse is a popular chain of Italian restaurants…RUN
  • If your pastor thinks that transubstantiation has something to do with the New York City Subway System…RUN
  • If your pastor thinks that John Calvin is a famous fashion designer known for his skinny jeans…RUN
  • If your Pastor thinks the Canon of Dort was used by the Royal Navy during the reign of Queen Victoria…RUN
  • If your pastor thinks that the Fruit of Spirit is referring to a popular brand of men's briefs…RUN
  • If your pastor can name every starting player for his favorite sports team but can only name 3 of Jesus' disciples…RUN!
  • If your pastor thinks that Matthew, Mark, Luke and John were the original members of the New Kids on the Block…RUN!
  • If your pastor thinks the Augsburg Confession is when the Spanish Inquisition succeeded in getting Martin Luther to confess to being a Heretic...RUN
  • If your pastor thinks that catechism is a disease of a popular house pet…RUN
  • If you ask your pastor about Jude and he says, "Oh yeah, I LOVE that Beatles song!"…RUN
  • If you ask your pastor about the meaning of a particular Greek word used in the New Testament and responds by shrugging his shoulders and saying "It’s all Greek to me"…RUN!
  • If your pastor can't draw an Aleph, Bet or Gimmel and thinks that Hebrew has something to do with making coffee…RUN!
  • If your pastor ever explains that he needs you to tithe so that he can purchase fuel for his private jet….RUN if you can still afford too.
  • If your pastor and her husband recommend that you stand in front of a mirror and declare how wonderful you are…I think you get the picture.
Comment: A friend posted this on Facebook! I improved upon the catechism which was originally: "is when a child goes to the doctor to get his immunization booster shots". Friend called this "Here are some thoughts from Chris Rosebrough"


  1. If even (Fake) Richard Dawkins tweets a Bible-based argument against your "pastor"'s newest book...Um...RUN.

  2. If your pastor changes the order of service so that the offering is after a message about his financal expectations of the memebers.... RUN!

    If your pastor takes a second offering after a giving guilt trip talk about needing to give more money... RUN!

  3. If your pastor gets invited to speak on Operas Soul Series... RUN!


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