Airport Security: “don’t touch my polyps” will become the viral war-cry

TSA’s Master Plan: Secure the Planes by Eliminating the Passengers


If precedent means anything the TSA will then ignore the obvious lessons – i.e. don’t let a man dressed like Lawrence of Arabia, bathed in flop-sweat and walking like he has a kielbasa up his bum, board a plane – and focus right in on mobile phones and rectums. The former will be banned from airports. No more phone calls for you. The latter, given the fact they really can’t be banned (a cause for some relief in the upper echelons of DHS), will be subject to the now-standard TSA response, further expanding the market bubble in x-ray machines and latex gloves.

As the “universal body cavity probe” takes hold, so to speak, phrases like “don’t touch my polyps” will become the viral war-cry. Janet Napolitano will issue an announcement, which by now will be a kind of fill in the blanks affair, stating that if these [enter invasive procedure here]: impromptu colonoscopies will save one life they are more than justified. She will then threaten harsh penalties for anyone who refuses to comply, without specifying what could be harsher than the thing not being complied with.

Comment: On "impromptu colonoscopies". Well if you can skip the preparation it could be advantageous!

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