Myth? "Christian parenting techniques produce godly children"
The Myth of the Perfect Parent
Excerpts:
Proverbs 22:6 has been widely adopted as both psychological premise and theological promise, despite the widespread recognition that hermeneutically, the Proverbs are not promises from God, but general observations and maxims. (Ironically, if King Solomon did pen this proverb, as many biblical scholars believe, he himself failed to exemplify its truth: In his old age, he abandoned the teaching and example of his father, as "his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been" [1 Kings 11:4].)
Despite these problems, entire formulas and programs have been created to divine and instruct on the kind of parental training that will secure the desired outcome. At least one of these programs, claiming to instruct in God's ways of raising children, has sold in the millions. A few of the more stridently conservative writers are so confident of their parenting methods and outcomes, they describe child-training as a risk-free venture analogous to staking out tomatoes, training dogs, and teaching mules, only loosely veiling B. F. Skinner-like techniques with swatches of strategically placed Bible verses.
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One parenting writer warns, "If our parents' approach seemed close to biblical parenting, yet bore bad fruit, we can be certain it was not biblical." We can know this, he asserts, because God's Word gives us exactly what we need to raise godly children, and if we correctly apply the principles, "parents will not be disappointed."
An entire branch of Christian parenting takes this tack. "Observe and learn from winning parents," one writer advises. Winning parents are those whose children are "obedient" and "respectful," who "know God's will," who "live faithful Christian lives," he writes. We should be imitating those parents "who are successful, not those who fail."
Comment: Before I had kids ... I had parenting all figured out!
It's pelagianism!
ReplyDeletePersonally, I've got to wonder if kids leaving the church has a lot to do, per Ham & Beamer's "Already Gone," with youth activities. Kids go to nursery, children's church, youth group....anywhere but the auditorium, and they anything but a good meaty sermon.
And then we wonder why they take the hint, and we don't see them there, when they're adults.