Job market not hopeless

Dept. Of Labor Reports It Could Be Nothing, But They May Have Spotted Job In Iowa Strip Mall

Excerpt:

Urging the 14 million Americans without jobs not to get their hopes up, officials from the Department of Labor cautiously announced Tuesday that they had heard about a possible employment opportunity at the Lindale Mall in Cedar Rapids, IA. "Now, this could be something, or it could be absolutely nothing, but we think they're looking for someone to restock the jewelry kiosk Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings, with the chance to add Sunday mornings further down the line," said Labor Secretary Hilda Solis ...

Comment: From "The Onion" (a satire site)

But it is a real mall!