Missionary dating

A Match Made on Earth: When Christians date outside the fold.

I could be considered the beneficiary of "missionary dating". Back in 1969 I met and dated Brenda, later attended her church, and in the Fall of that year was saved.

In retrospective, it was not a healthy relationship. It was not a Christ honoring relationship. My conclusion: "missionary dating" is an oxymoron!

Excerpt from the article:

For evangelicals who want to pair up with others of the same faith but don't manage to do so in their early 20s, trouble lies ahead, particularly for women. Evangelical churches now typically have a 60-40 split between women and men, which means that there are many more single evangelical women out there than their male counterparts. As Ms. Cockrel explains, "I have friends who wanted to marry a Christian guy, are still single, and are more and more open to dating non-Christians as they get older. They're tired of waiting."

Margaret Nagib, a 35-year-old single psychologist who lives outside of Chicago, sympathizes. "Sometimes it's just nice to go out on a date." Ms. Nagib was seeing a non-Christian for three months earlier this year. She talked with him very early on about her faith and even told him that she would "never consider being serious with someone who wasn't Christian." Ms. Nagib says that when he told her he was agnostic, she could have ended it right then, but the two "clicked really well." He went to church with her and read a book on Christianity that she recommended, but ultimately the two broke up. He asked how her faith would affect their relationship if they got married. "When I think of our wedding ceremony, I want it to glorify God. And when I think of marriage and obviously children, they should glorify God."

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But pastors regularly remind their flocks to avoid dating outside the faith. Lee Strobel, formerly a teaching pastor at Saddleback Church in Southern California and the author of "Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage," tells people that "conjugal evangelism" doesn't work. "If you're feeling like if I just marry this person, I'll be able to influence him toward God, it's self-deception." He notes that "the nonbeliever is more likely to pull the Christian away from his faith." This is a contention, by the way, that sociologists, like Brad Wilcox at the University of Virginia, generally support. Mr. Wilcox explains: "Evangelicals who marry nonevangelicals are typically less likely to remain as or become as devout as those who marry within the fold."