"In sickness and in health ..."

Not sure if my readers have viewed my wedding text from my son's marriage ceremony on 1/1. I used a blog post from Dan Phillips for a basis to one of the three points: I give thee my troth. Since I haven't been a Pastor for 16 years, it's been that long since I've officiated at a marriage ceremony.

I used Christmas week at work (it was a very quiet week) to write the ceremony and compose the message. I had a lot of time to think about the vows taken.

We always start the year (or typically anyway) with carrying ahead 5 PTO (paid time off) days. And we typically use those days for a couple of long weekend get-a-ways.

I never expect to start the year sick. We took off Monday January 3rd to recover from the wedding weekend. So Tuesday the 4th was my first day of work this year. Well Tuesday I got sick at work - very sick - and Kathee brought me home at noon. I took Wednesday off. Thursday I felt sick but drove in early and picked up my laptop and brought it home to work remotely. Kathee told me (as only wives can do) to be sure to call the Dr. (she actually did this on Wednesday). I did not call the Dr Wednesday ... promised her Thursday. Did not call the Dr on Thursday and oh was Kathee angry at my stubbornness. I finally called the Dr on Friday and saw him at 11:00 a.m.

I have this basically philosophy that most things resolve themselves. Colds get better. Flues go away. Pains diminish. Etc.

Well what I had (or have), did not subside. I got worse and worse to the point I could not eat at all. My only meal on Friday was dinner and I lost that overnight. Saturday and Sunday I ate nothing and really did not feel like eating either. I only drank Gatorade. 

Today at 5:30 the Dr called to give me the lab results. I have something called Clostridium difficile. It's serious and yet it's not. I could destroy one's colon and for those with weakened immune systems could even kill! - but there's an antibiotic. Kathee's at Walgreens picking it up right now. In 7 days I should be ok. But for my readers, I do appreciate your prayers.

Marriage is not all "for the better". It is not always (and for some never!) "for richer". And for probably most marriages there are times of sickness.

I met Kate's Grandmother and Grandfather at the wedding. They've been married 64 years ... almost 65. The Grandmother said that they will soon be married 65 "if he makes it" (he is apparently not well.

Our house has been a house of sickness for 8 days. My dear wife, has faithfully cared for me and it's been a lot of care and cleanup.

I thank the Lord for my dear wife. I thank the Lord for marriage which is for the benefit of mankind!

Meanwhile, I just started the first of my Metronidazole pills. Today I ate today for the first time since Friday. I had three bowls of white rice. Now I am having a banana and a bowl of applesauce. They call this the BRAT diet. Tomorrow I hope to add the toast!

I give thee my troth

THE least-heard marriage truth

Excerpt:

Well, marriage is by its nature a vow, an oath, a covenant (Genesis 2:24; Proverbs 2:17; Malachi 2:14). But in addition to that, at least in our culture, we usually take on ourselves oaths, vows, as part of the marriage ceremony. Remember the traditional ones:

Ths husband is asked, "WILT thou have this woman to thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?" He promises, before God and everyone, that he will.

The wife is asked, "WILT thou have this man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him, love, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?"

The husband promises his wife, before God and everyone, "I N. take thee N. to my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth."

The wife promises her husband, before God and everyone, "I N. take thee N. to my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth."

...

Note this about all those vows: not one of them is premised on the other's keeping his vows. In other words, it is not, "If you keep your promise, then I promise that I will...." The promises are unilateral, unconditional, and therefore binding as long as the marriage lasts.

All that to this simple observation: keep your vows. If you are not doing so, you are sinning, and must repent, find God's forgiveness -- and start keeping them.

Let me add this. Many are "counseling-happy" today. I'd suggest that anyone wanting marital counseling first take out his/her wedding vows, and ask himself before God, with brutal honesty, whether he/she has provided any legitimate basis for charging that he/she is failing to keep those vows. If the honest answer is "No," then counseling may be an option. If the answer is "Yes," then the only counseling he/she should seek is from his/her pastor, as to how to remedy this sin-pattern in his/her life.

And to Christian counselors, I would suggest this: what if you started with this? Start by meeting with each individual. Tell each to bring the wedding vows, for review. Go over them closely and Biblically. Deal with sin honestly and brutally.

Then see if there is still really any need for counseling.

Comment: This blog post is 6 years old! (Back to about when blogging started!). The post is still fresh! The meaning of troth!