2.06.2013

When to RUN


  • If your pastor thinks the Olivet Discourse is a popular chain of Italian restaurants…RUN
  • If your pastor thinks that transubstantiation has something to do with the New York City Subway System…RUN
  • If your pastor thinks that John Calvin is a famous fashion designer known for his skinny jeans…RUN
  • If your Pastor thinks the Canon of Dort was used by the Royal Navy during the reign of Queen Victoria…RUN
  • If your pastor thinks that the Fruit of Spirit is referring to a popular brand of men's briefs…RUN
  • If your pastor can name every starting player for his favorite sports team but can only name 3 of Jesus' disciples…RUN!
  • If your pastor thinks that Matthew, Mark, Luke and John were the original members of the New Kids on the Block…RUN!
  • If your pastor thinks the Augsburg Confession is when the Spanish Inquisition succeeded in getting Martin Luther to confess to being a Heretic...RUN
  • If your pastor thinks that catechism is a disease of a popular house pet…RUN
  • If you ask your pastor about Jude and he says, "Oh yeah, I LOVE that Beatles song!"…RUN
  • If you ask your pastor about the meaning of a particular Greek word used in the New Testament and responds by shrugging his shoulders and saying "It’s all Greek to me"…RUN!
  • If your pastor can't draw an Aleph, Bet or Gimmel and thinks that Hebrew has something to do with making coffee…RUN!
  • If your pastor ever explains that he needs you to tithe so that he can purchase fuel for his private jet….RUN if you can still afford too.
  • If your pastor and her husband recommend that you stand in front of a mirror and declare how wonderful you are…I think you get the picture.
Comment: A friend posted this on Facebook! I improved upon the catechism which was originally: "is when a child goes to the doctor to get his immunization booster shots". Friend called this "Here are some thoughts from Chris Rosebrough"



3 comments:

  1. If even (Fake) Richard Dawkins tweets a Bible-based argument against your "pastor"'s newest book...Um...RUN.

    ReplyDelete
  2. If your pastor changes the order of service so that the offering is after a message about his financal expectations of the memebers.... RUN!

    If your pastor takes a second offering after a giving guilt trip talk about needing to give more money... RUN!

    ReplyDelete
  3. If your pastor gets invited to speak on Operas Soul Series... RUN!

    ReplyDelete

Any anonymous comments with links will be rejected. Please do not comment off-topic